Science Fiction Round 60: Tomorrowland
I watched Disney’s Tomorrowland, the in the vague hope that it would be as fun as certain other films based on Disney theme park rides.
I was disappointed.
This Movie Was Made For Product Placement
This was bad.
The worst bit was after the protagonists had done a teleportation thing, which apparently leeches most of the sugar out of your body. Cue minifridge at destination stocked with bottles of Coca-Cola.
Geez. And that was on top of all the other Disney movie references.
Shiny But Unbelievable
The special effects were great and everything… but… I had trouble buying into the premise of the film after a certain point. Okay, there’s a parallel reality where people are building all the supertech that won’t fly in our world. Except… if they could manufacture it there, and then bring it here, I’m sure everybody would be thrilled to have the assorted new gizmos.
I’m still sitting here wondering how nobody noticed that the Eiffel Tower could split in half in order to launch a 19th century spaceship from the ground underneath. It’s not exactly the sort of thing that can be subtle.
Worst of all, I don’t even really see the point of the scene. Sure, it’s shiny, but…
Get On With The Reveals Already
I started to want to tear my hair out. It takes more than half the film for Casey (the main protagonist) to actually get to Tomorrowland at all, and then a bunch more time to actually get the explanation behind how the world is ending.
Worse, it’s all in the vein of “poor communication kills” — both Athena and Frank were fully capable of explaining the whole business to her. Given all the weirdness she’s seen lately, she’d probably at least partially believe the story without having to actually see the magical future-predicting tachyon device first. Whose implications were insufficiently explored in the tiny amount of remaining time.
Frankly, most of the movie felt like a delaying tactic to keep us watching until the end of the film, and keep the story from being too short. And to give enough time for all the product placement. Oh, and time for jetpacks.
The jet packs were about the best part of the film.
Not because they were jet packs, but because everybody who used them wore safety equipment. Even the kid working on the alpha model had a helmet. Later versions had full body suits that were basically airbags that expanded on impact. It was hilarious. I approved.